Marriage has become an institute of convenience. Misconceptions that sound logical yet hide the true essence of what marriage is really all about. For the next few weeks we will be discussing the 3 largest misconceptions about marriage.
Happiness: /ˈhapēnis/ noun. the state of being happy; an experience that makes you happy
We all have a relentless pursuit of pleasure, and many seek it from their spouse and expect it from them the moment they say “I do”. It is often believed that a “good and healthy” marriage is one that is without conflict, where the wife and husband are completely and naturally compatible. As if the two will live in a perfect happy bubble where they never fight, and all is well everyday in marriage land.
This understanding of marriage is FALSE.
By definition, happiness is just a state of being happy. It is temporary and cannot be held as an everyday standard. If we expect our spouse to be perfectly understanding, the day that they aren’t, the only available feeling is disappointment. Going into a marriage with the precepts of temporal happiness as an everyday occurrence is selfish. A good marriage is not made up of two perfect people but the union of two perfect forgivers, working hard to learn each other thoroughly and create a healthy relationship day after day and year after year. Communication is key. When we actively communicate our needs, wants, likes and dislikes with one another, that is how we grow as a couple. Opposed to sitting back and expecting everything to proceed forth as planned with little effort and high expectations. With communication we can learn to resolve conflict. A strong marriage is one that possesses conflict yet both parties have chosen to resolve their disagreement, which creates a far better understanding of their spouse.
Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life -Rick Warren
Joy cannot be taken from us regardless of what the circumstance is. In the midst of an argument, the joy of the Lord can always bring you back to the reassurance that He is in control, and if you are submissive to that truth, then we discover that we cannot be dismayed. When we submit our relationships and our differences to the Lord we see that marriage is something more than a signed document. Which leads us to next weeks misconception.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15;31
If you feel the communication is off in your marriage we would love to share with you some talking points that truly blessed our marriage in the past. Take some time each day to go through these points and build a strong line of communication. Before you begin, be sure to go before the Lord, and pray for understanding, and conclude your discussion with prayer.
1. Share with each other how their day proceeded. Allow each other to speak freely and uninterrupted.
2. Share dreams, hopes and goals together.
3. If there is a problem, talk about what is bothering you and what you would like to see a change in. (It is crucial to allow one another the time to freely express their concerns without interruption or judgement)
It is our prayer that applying these simple steps and biblical truths with help evolve your marriage.
We will see you all back here next week
For His Glory
Levi and Tany